It’s that point of 12 months! Spirit weeks! Coat drives! Classroom events! Oh my! And one mother says she just isn’t having any of it this 12 months. She is saying “no” to every single opportunity to volunteer and assist out in school, and other people have ideas about it!
“It is that point of 12 months the place my child’s college requested for one million issues of oldsters,” @heyempoweredmama begins in her video.
“And this 12 months I made a decision that I used to be simply gonna say ‘no,’ like, we’re simply not doing any of it. The donations, the drives, the volunteers for events or discipline journeys, it is simply, it is a no.”
She says the choice to show down all volunteering alternatives feels “releasing” as an individual who struggled in 2025 with high-functioning anxiety.
“I’ve been struggling. And that is one thing that I made a decision … as a result of it looks like one other factor I’ve to placed on my to-do record and tackle the psychological load for. And I simply haven’t got the capability to do it,” she defined earlier than noting that she additionally has youngsters born round this time a 12 months so she’s planning for birthdays plus all the vacations.
“And you already know what? It is okay. You are not gonna let your youngsters down. You are not gonna let the varsity down. There are different dad and mom that wish to step up and need to have the ability to do this stuff,” she says.
“They will be okay. And if that is one thing that feels prefer it’s gonna break you this vacation season, put up that boundary and simply know that it is okay to say no. And like actually, you are in all probability gonna be so a lot better off defending your personal self. So you’ll be able to present up on your youngsters when they’re residence from college.”
After her video gained some traction, a number of TikTok customers (together with some lecturers) have been lower than impressed with this girl’s take.
One consumer stated, “Saying there are different dad and mom keen to select up the slack is simply false. There have been loads of instances that I’ve been actually the one mother or father supplying issues for my youngster’s classroom as a result of I refuse to go away all of it on the trainer.”
“I’m the room mother or father for my son’s class….different dad and mom don’t step up, interval. Everybody has the mindset that another person will do it,” one other echoed.
One trainer replied, “So I hear this. Loud and clear. However as a trainer, I discover that this appears to be each mother or father. Nobody steps up, nobody donates. So please, and I say this with all of the respect on your state of affairs, please help your youngsters trainer after they cancel the enjoyable issues as a result of lack of help. We’re barely making it too. And admittedly when it comes all the way down to MY youngsters or my college students, MY youngsters are getting the additional.”
“So that you refuse to take part in a toy drive?” one other requested.
“Idk I simply really feel like saying donating just a few cans to the meals drive or a few hours to the Santa store is gonna break you is a bit wild. When you’ve got the time and the monetary means there’s actually no cause to say no,” one other wrote.
One other consumer chimed in and wrote, “My mother was a low effort mother due to ‘anxiousness’ — we aren’t shut now”
The OP responded, “I get that and am sorry for that journey. I’m actively engaged on therapeutic my anxiousness so I could be there for my youngsters in our personal 4 partitions! Taking so could actions.”
Some folks in her feedback supported her boundaries.
“Truthfully, I fully perceive. This is without doubt one of the causes I don’t LOOOOVE the vacations the way in which others do. It’s like two months of chores. Faculty events, trainer items, cookie swaps, meals drives, Christmas concert events, and so on. and so on. on high of the whole lot else that must be accomplished this time of 12 months? It’s a LOT. I’ve additionally needed to set some boundaries on this division. I’ll take part and volunteer another time of 12 months. Christmas? The busiest time of 12 months? Rely me out,” one consumer wrote.
“Ya’ll, she clearly says she is struggling and isn’t capable of deal with the additional duties proper now. That doesn’t imply she has by no means accomplished it prior to now. It’s alright to prioritize our psychological well being. She doesn’t deserve the guilt journey right here,” one consumer stated within the OP’s protection.
One other stated, “She stated she will’t do it 🤷🏾♀️That’s okay.”
Different TikTok customers tried to see a center floor.
“I imply I don’t suppose doing no less than ONE factor or sending in one thing. Your youngster advantages from it. How does that drown out somebody’s anxiousness? In case you don’t wish to do a celebration, donate an merchandise. Academics are actually appreciative of even a field of tissues? Or have dad do it? I don’t wish to do each exercise, however my youngsters additionally discover if I don’t do one thing,” one consumer stated.
One consumer with the highest remark wrote, “Don’t fear, lecturers like me are accustomed to choosing up the slack and dealing much more (unpaid) after we don’t get sufficient parental help as a result of WE don’t wish to let our children in our classroom down. 👍🏻,” one consumer wrote.
The OP replied to this remark with a video response, doubling down on the notion that folks are those doing an excessive amount of in our child’s classroom which ends up in lecturers “taking that on.”
“I believe that now we have come to some extent the place we’re doing an excessive amount of in our children’ classroom. And the expectation of lecturers taking that on can be an excessive amount of … it’s a nice time of 12 months to reevaluate the whole lot that’s being accomplished within the youngsters’ lecture rooms,” she stated.
“And sadly, that begins within the colleges with the lecturers.”
She remembers her youngsters old fashioned, a privte college, the place they did zero classroom events apart from one enjoyable day on the finish of the 12 months.
“There was an amazing response to that being optimistic … Like, perhaps the difficulty is that we’re doing an excessive amount of and everyone seems to be burnt out and everyone seems to be taking up an excessive amount of of this psychological load. And our children do not want us to do this a lot within the colleges,” she stated.
As you’ll be able to guess, the responses have been additionally blended! In my humble opinion, she may no less than write a check…
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