I first stumbled throughout Erika Dus’ Instagram profile again within the fall of 2024. Like lots of you, I’m positive, I used to be getting served plenty of suburban-Swifties-for-Harris-walking content material (normally whereas the topic was sporting a weighted vest). I used to be drawn to her love of TayTay, however I used to be additionally actually drawn to her unapologetic realness. This, I may inform, was a lady in a a lot redder place than I used to be, being daring. I instantly appreciated her.
Quick ahead a handful of months, Dus continues to be at it. She’s not afraid to tackle the RFK Jr. acolytes that appear to have gleefully flooded everybody’s feedback on Instagram within the days after the election. However her account isn’t all politics; it’s additionally health and relatable content material about elevating toddlers and being a midwestern mother.
I acquired the prospect to speak with Dus by way of Zoom and find out about how she acquired began, how she handles the haters and extra.
Scary Mommy: How outdated is your daughter?
Erika Dus: She simply turned three to start with of April. … I am 44. I spent most of my life considering I used to be not going to have children. I assume I am sugarcoating it to say I did not have an actual robust drive. The truth is I used to be very very similar to, “Youngsters will not be for me.”
SM: So what modified?
ED: Trying again, I am constructive that I spent plenty of time in relationships that weren’t the proper relationships and it wasn’t a protected house to have children. And I had different issues that I used to be extra targeted on. And as soon as I hit my 40s, I began slowing down, I met my husband, circumstances modified to an extent, and out of the blue, I had this sense that like, Possibly I may do that. So it modified fairly rapidly for me. Simply the truth that it modified is one thing that I’ve struggled with. I’ve spent most of my life so irritated by the truth that folks inform me, You simply have not met the proper man. Like, whoa, that is so patronizing.
So I feel that, not that there is reality to that, however if you’re not in a state of affairs the place it feels protected to do one thing, then you definately’re not going to do it. So when circumstances change, conditions change, new prospects come to the entrance.
SM: Proper. So the place are you in Ohio?
ED: I am simply west of downtown Cleveland.
SM: The place are you from initially?
ED: Born and raised a bit bit additional west of right here. Ohio is a really red-looking state proper now, however we now have two huge blue dots: Columbus, which is the capital after which Cleveland. Ohio’s bizarre since you speak to individuals who have grown up in Ohio, and for those who’ve grown up outdoors of Cleveland or Columbus, your expertise could be very very similar to city, immigrant-driven, melting pots. However then for those who speak to somebody who’s grown up in a extra rural space of Ohio, their expertise is completely totally different.
SM: You began on Instagram after your daughter was born?
ED: My background was in media gross sales. My plan was all the time to return to work. By no means in one million years was I like, I’ll be joyful as a stay-at-home mother. I had her on the tail finish of COVID. In our space, it was very troublesome to seek out childcare, clearly not simply right here, plenty of locations…. Lengthy story quick, I ended up staying dwelling.
And it turned obvious fairly rapidly that I like my daughter and I like being her mother, however there may be this large lacking piece of my very own sense of private success and accomplishments and drive and talent that was lacking. And I additionally was identified with extreme postpartum anxiousness after I had her. In order that lasted a few 12 months and I am positive that that impacted every thing as effectively. At that time, I knew I wished to do one thing. I wanted to do one thing that felt… that I used to be producing one thing of worth that contributes both to society or to my household or to one thing that I am constructing. In order that was a part of what acquired me fascinated about beginning the account. And likewise… that is the primary time in historical past that we now have more women becoming moms in their 40s than of their teen years, which, primary is wild, however what it means is that our expertise as moms or expertise as changing into moms and discovering our id seems completely totally different than it did for our mothers and grandmothers. You’ll look to your mom or your grandmother for recommendation, however they didn’t have the expertise of navigating postpartum despair into perimenopause.
SM: Proper.
ED: I used to be in search of assets on this and there was simply this large hole. And I assumed to myself, Effectively, if it does not exist, we will have to begin creating it. A big a part of my motivation was, If I am in search of this, then different folks in my state of affairs should even be in search of this. And on the very least, I may be somebody who’s saying, Hey, you are not alone.
I get referred to as cringe on the web on a regular basis, which at this level, it rolls off my again. Cool, for those who suppose I am cringe, 28-year-old Gen Z dude commenting on my movies, meaning I am in all probability speaking concerning the issues that different individuals are experiencing, however do not feel protected speaking about. So I am okay with that. However nobody’s speaking about the way you get performed going via the hormonal shifts, night time sweats, weight achieve, weight reduction after which lastly getting your physique again to your self after which, simply kidding, it is nonetheless not yours, now you will have night time sweats, however they’re simply pushed by one thing else.
SM: What do you say to the 28-year-old dudes who’re following you? The 2 stuff you in all probability get essentially the most hate for are your politics and also you’re being outspoken about girls’s well being, which frequently go hand in hand. What do you do with these folks?
ED: I vacillate honestly. There’s a part of me that’s like, I want to guard my psychological well being and simply bless, block and launch. If we will discuss hate feedback, there’s totally different buckets. The profile I’ve in-built my head is like, Okay, you are the indignant proper wing Gen Z man and also you may depart a remark that is like, You are so outdated … They’re like weak-sauce third grade insult feedback like, What? Does this rating you factors on the playground in grade faculty, You simply look outdated and that is why you are on the web? I am 44. You suppose calling me outdated goes to harm my emotions, man? Come on. So there’s that bucket of individuals.
There’s additionally a bucket of hate feedback from males particularly that I feel wish to be yelled at by girls on the web. I feel they get a bit little bit of one thing from it, so that does not hassle me, but it surely creeps me out a bit bit. I attempt to not feed that troll an excessive amount of. There’s additionally a 3rd group, which I’ve seen an enormous rise in these days. It is actually disappointing and irritating, and that’s individuals who very clearly have politics which can be totally different from mine. I am simply going to say it: they’re enamored of Elon Musk and the machismo bravado of Donald Trump and worship on the foot of meanness and bullying.
And the variety of feedback within the final 4 months utilizing the R phrase has completely skyrocketed. I simply discover it completely revolting that individuals are utilizing that phrase, that they are laughing about it, that it is like this badge of honor. I discover it so attention-grabbing that people who find themselves like, RFK Jr. is nice as a result of he needs to ‘remedy’ autism, are additionally this identical group of people who find themselves like, I am so glad that we are able to use the R phrase freely once more with out penalties. I do not perceive the psychological gymnastics that is required to have a foot in each of these locations, however I am going to inform you what I do: I make these feedback into content material.
My child is three and she or he’s a lady and she or he’s going to spend so much extra time on this earth with out me right here to guard her than I’ve to spend. These guys are shaping the world that she’s going to dwell in. If I do not push again on that with every thing that I’ve, I will not have the ability to sleep at night time.
SM: I assume you are simply stronger than I’m. It might actually piss me off.
ED: It does piss me off. And I feel that may be a sort of power. Energy is available in totally different types. Content material creation is mentally and emotionally laborious. It is draining. I feel you want one thing that retains you going. Have been you ever a Seinfeld fan?
SM: Yeah.
ED: Are you aware when Jerry returns the jacket and so they’re like, What’s your purpose for returning the jacket? and he is like, Spite. This can be a spite return. Initially, that is hilarious. I like Seinfeld and I all the time have, however spite may be fairly motivating and fairly highly effective. And if somebody’s leaving feedback which can be making me indignant, I can sit with that anger and simply really feel downtrodden and discouraged or I can flip it into gas. And I am turning it into gas as a result of the reality of the matter is I am 44, I’ve acquired 40 good years left, proper? My child is three and she or he’s a lady and she or he’s going to spend so much extra time on this earth with out me right here to guard her than I’ve to spend. These guys are shaping the world that she’s going to dwell in. If I do not push again on that with every thing that I’ve, I will not have the ability to sleep at night time.
SM: That is your why.
ED: I’ve had some folks ask me, Why do not you run for workplace or one thing? And actually, I would not know the place to begin. But when I can, via one thing like Instagram, assist 100 folks vote who would not have voted, 100 folks get entangled that you simply would not have been concerned, folks possibly who will not be conscious that there’s this rising contingent of younger males on the proper who’re severe about returning to what they’re calling a household vote. Make no mistake: A household vote is eradicating my proper to vote. You would costume it up as a household vote and do-it-yourself sourdough and tradwives and floral clothes and milking goats, no matter, you are taking my rights away. So if there’s something that I can do that may assist stem that tide or at the least maintain it off or reduce the impression of it to provide my daughter a greater likelihood of rising up in a world the place she has independence and she or he has equality and she or he has rights, the rights that I loved, the rights that my mother loved, if I can do a few of that, then yeah, I am completely going to do this.
I’d be mendacity if I stated that was the one factor that I take into consideration. I additionally love health. It has been an enormous a part of my life, particularly speaking about postpartum anxiousness and psychological well being. Health motion has been such a boon for me. I am truly engaged on my certification for private coaching and authorized vitamin coach, which I am enthusiastic about even only for myself. Health if you’re 44 seems loads totally different than if you’re 24. what I imply? And do not get me improper, extra energy to the 25-year-old health influencers on the market, however the 24 hours of their day are very totally different than the 24 hours in my day or in your day. I want suggestions and methods for a 44-year-old overtired mother in perimenopause, not somebody who’s like juggle lessons and date night time along with your health.
SM: So new matter. I wish to discuss nostalgia, notably what peak ‘90s nostalgia is to you.
ED: I had an ex-boyfriend who talked about nostalgia being probably the most highly effective forces for folks and I fully agree. For me, do you bear in mind the present My So-Referred to as Life?
SM: Oh, yeah, I wasn’t allowed to observe it.
ED: I’m actually shocked that I used to be allowed to observe it. I watched each episode when it was truly on ABC. When it acquired canceled, I used to be one of many individuals who was writing the letters into the community saying, It’s good to carry this again. That was in all probability my first foray into activism to be completely sincere with you. I used to be like, I could make a distinction. I can write a letter and possibly carry Angela Chase again.
SM: Oh, so good.
ED: For a couple of years after that, MTV used to run it time and again. And I bear in mind I had gotten like a 13-inch tube TV that had a VCR constructed into it.
SM: Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
ED: It was so, God, and I simply bear in mind considering it was the peak of expertise. And it now, I do not even wish to know what children nowadays would consider it, however I can bear in mind getting these clean VHS tapes and ready and recording it. I used to be obsessive about Jordan Catalano and I had method too many plaid shirts, method too … I imply, it was the ’90s.
This interview has been edited and condensed for readability.
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